Sometimes it’s easy, as moms, to get confused by other people’s wants versus needs. Most moms are nurturing, giving, and tend to give so much of themselves to the point of losing track of their own needs in favor of other people’s wants.
Since almost half of all homes consist of two working parents, and more still consist of single working moms, it’s more important than ever to find out ways to realistically balance the needs of everyone.
Let Go of the Supermom Ideal
You don’t have to be supermom. As nice as that would be it’s not going to happen. Let go of your high expectations for yourself, and others. You can’t do everything. In some places you will have to give more and in some less.
Separate the Needs From Wants
Some things are really wants and not needs. Your children don’t need a five course meal each night, and they don’t need to be in 4 sports, or wear name brand clothing. Neither do they need you to clean their room, wash their clothing, or do other things for them once they reach a certain age. In fact doing those things for them is a disservice (after they reach a certain age). Be thoughtful about needs and wants. Meet the needs first.
Delegate, Delegate, Delegate
Sometimes we moms can be so bad at delegating. There’s a reason we like those Amish books. The kids start helping out in the home at a young age. The families couldn’t make it unless everyone pitched in. We can do that in the English world too. That’s what chores are for. Delegate some of those chores.
Create a Support Network
There are other women in your shoes. Moms who feel just like you do. If you can create a support network among other women and mothers you can get help when things get to be too much. In addition to emotional support from those who can empathize with you if you live near each other you can support when needed with child care, running errands and much much more.
One way to avoid everything getting haywire is to get organized. I know I talk about being and getting organized but an organized home is faster to clean. Did you know that? An organized life helps you manage doing much more in any given day than being unorganized. Imagine not having to look for keys at the last minute, or important paperwork, or forgetting you have an important meeting. It all boils down to organization and that includes organization your off work life and not just your work life.
Sometimes things won’t get done, and that’s okay. It’s not the end of the world (deep breath). Sometimes children get hurt or sick and all your plans are thrown for a loop. The thing is, if you otherwise have things organized it won’t be hard to rearrange your schedule to get back on track. It can be stressful, but when you accept that this is life with kids, you can handle it a lot easier.
Finally, let your spouse step up. Many men want to help out more around the house and with the kids. But you have to admit that many times they don’t step up and that might be due to your reaction to their efforts. If your husband steps up to do something, don’t critique him for not doing it your way. Thank him. Keep demonstrating the way you like things, and he’ll catch on.